Dear exPCVs ,

A few weeks ago, 11 years after adopting our 3 month old baby boy from Brazil and after a 3 year search effort, we finally received 15 color pictures of my son's birth mother and 4 year old sister. We had many, many set backs in our search that included several false leads, an intermediary who lied to us and the reconnection with our Brazilian translator, who we found out was living in Long Island, NY.

We were motivated in our search, because at the time of our Brazilian adoption, very little information was being released to adoptive parents. The LAPA-NY volunteer told us that boys are mostly available for adoption, because it is easier to raise girls. It is very expensive in Brazil to educate a boy and most times, girls can work as domestic helpers, along with their mothers.

Our baby was 9 days old referral and we received a call on a baby boy and that was the extent of our information. He was born full
term, healthy, do we want to adopt him? After 2 1/2 years of failed IA attempts, we said yes. Our adoption was not an agency adoption but was through LAPA-NY parent support group, with it's recommended Brazilian SW and facilitator connections. After spending 45 days in Brazil, we received our son's adoption decree and his Brazilian birth certificate. Listed were the names of his birth mother and maternal grandparents. We were stunned to realize that yes, this baby had a history. We had to fly to Rio the next day to obtain his exit visa, so we and to say good bye to Brazil.

The following year we adopted a two year old boy from Colombia, and we were stunned by the amount of information we received. Included in the information, was a birth mother photo. The following year, we completed our family with the referral of our 7 day old baby girl, who was one moth old when placed in our arms. As with our first Colombian adoption, we received the huge stack of social, medial and birth mother photo. Our family was complete but we knew this wasn't over. We felt terrible that we didn't have any information on our Brazilian baby, even though we knew this could be a possibility. To make maters worse, the adoption process had changed in Brazil and those adopting now, were receiving identifying information and some adopting families had met their child's birth mother in court.

The LAPA-NY parent who helped us to adopt, could not help us. She told us most of these women were migrant workers and the chance of finding them were slim. I wrote a letter in Portuguese, thanks to a Portuguese dictionary and was told that the judge who processed our adoption has retired and only he could open my son's file, if it could be found in the mountain of boxes in the Jaboatao County Court House.

I went online and networked with a group of ex Peace Corps volunteers, who had served their duty in my son's birth place. He was
adopted in the capitol of Pernambuco, Recife, so we only found his place of birth, on his Brazilian birth certificate. The volunteers
told me to be careful, because there were rumors decades ago of babies being stolen from their mothers and ugly custody battles in court. I told him we went through the legal system as required by law and he told me that he was just making sure that I had a right to my son. He also told me that to get something from someone in the "wasteland" (as that area of Pernambuco is known), we would have to give something. He said, if I knew what the area was like, I would leave with nothing on my back.

I finally found a Brazilian journalist and a Brazilian Minor lawyer to help me. I received an email from the lawyer that my son in
addition to his birth mother and grandmother, has a 13 and 3 year old sister. I was stunned to learn that my son had a sister that was only 3 years old, at the time of his birth. How come I was never told of her existence? I sent pictures to the lawyer and she promised to deliver them. I got conflicting reports, so I had no idea if she followed through.

Last October, I remembered the Peace Corp Volunteers advice of giving something, to get something. I decided to buy some gifts for my son's birth family and enclose a disposable camera, along with a picture of every year of my son, from 3 months old to present age. Since it would cost me double to mail the package and risk not reaching the lawyer, I contacted LIMIAR, a Brazilian adoption and relief organization, to see if someone from their office can see that my package reached the Brazilian lawyer. LIMIAR graciously agreed to deliver the large box to their Recife staff, she would then hand deliver it to the lawyer. I mailed the package to LIMIAR USA in November 2001 and received an email from LIMIAR"s director, that our package reached the lawyer on January 4, 2002.

I waited, and waited and waited for our package to be delivered. Spring came and went and I found out that our gifts were still
undelivered by the Brazilian lawyer. LIMIAR tried in vain to contact her but she failed to return their phone calls. My husband thought that the lawyer either reneged on the deal or decided to keep the gifts for herself. We felt sick, since part of the gift box included a gold necklace for my son's birth mother.

In June 2002, I received word that our Brazilian adoption translator, who had been living in Brazil, was now living in the NYC area. I was trying all of these years to locate him in Brazil but had no success. He was pleased to get an update on Chase and I told him about our unsuccessful attempts to search for birth family information and the undelivered package that was sitting in Brazil. He asked me the name of the Brazilian lawyer and sure enough, he knew who she was and where she lived. He gave her a call and them told me she had been trying to deliver the package several times but she is working in another city and only comes home about once a month to see her girls. Our former translator told me that on his next business trip to Brazil he would fly to Recife to get this straightened out. I only half believed him and thought we would never have an ending to our plight.

Almost ready to give up, our translator called me from Brazil two weeks ago to tell me that the lawyer delivered our package and
photographed our son's birth mother and now 4 year old sister. He told us that we will be getting the photos upon his return to the US.As I mentioned in the beginning, we received very detailed pictures of our son's birth mother and younger sister. There are no pictures of his birth grandmother or older sister. They live in a cinderblock dwelling, with only a half wooden door and open windows. They looked clean and were modestly dressed. there is a very stoic, solemn expression on his birth mother's face and the little sister is looking down shyly in some formal standing shots. His birth mother is holding a Siamese cat, which tells me the pet is important to them. The little girl playfully holds the baby doll and Barbie I sent down. I see my son in his birth mother and baby sister. I have no doubt that these pictures are authentic and that of Chase's Brazilian family. The sister has his big round eyes, lose curls, devilish smile and those "giraffe ears" that we tease Chase about, so often. One picture is taken outside away from their home, in the country side. I see no electrical or phone wires. I was not given an update on how my son's birth family reacted to the visit. I just received a small note from our translator, telling me that as promised, Chase has his birth mother and birth sister photo. God bless and take care, translators signature. There is no address for my son's birth family, no note from them, nothing. I am assuming that this will be the one and only contact with my son's birth family. our former translator told me before his business trip to Brazil that none of LAPA-NY's Brazilian adoptive families, ever asked for formal birth parent contact. Since this was such a major effort on everyone's part, I don't think that I could ask this of them again. The family lives so out of the way in an area that is usually avoided, unless their is business to attend to.

At this point, I feel so grateful to have these precious birth mother and birth sister pictures. After 11 years since adopting, I thought
we would never have anything.

Do I wish I had more? Yes, I do. I would have hoped for a letter from his birth mother but that did not happen. I showed my son
Chase the pictures of his birth family. He was eager to look at them and asked why they had no door. He was intrigued that his sister looked like him and I pointed to her ears. Chase did get very quite when he saw his birth mother. The only verbal information our translator told us, is that she is 42 but looks 55, from the hard life she had. Yes, she looked 55 and had heavy bags under her eyes. He asked me why she wasn't smiling. I told him that she was probably a little shy to pose for a picture, knowing she would be standing with everything she had. He asked how old his Brazilian sister was and when I told him she was 4 now, he laughed and said I bet she's bad!

That was the only reaction I got from my son. I'm glad he didn't ask if she asked about him, because I really don't know if she did. I'm sure she wouldn't have let the lawyer photograph her, if she didn't want Chase to see what she looked like.

We have no address, no phone number, no invitation for further contact. I think it's safe to say that another contact wouldn't
materialize, since it took so long to make this happen. After 3 years of effort and almost a year of waiting for our package to be
delivered, I'm glad that I can put this to rest for now. I have since written an email to our translator, to see if he can provide us with
any information regarding the lawyers visit. At this point, I'll patiently wait. I have cultural issues to deal with and Brazilians
in general, are offended by "badgering," excessive questions or demands. I don't want to make another demand of our former
translator, since he is the only link to our adoption and my son's birth family. From his conversation to me in Brazil, it appears that
he wanted to get this over with. He sounded very tired on the phone and I know it took several days out of his 3 week trip to Brazil, to get the pictures for me.

As the Rolling Stones say, you can't always get what you want, but if you try real hard, you get what you need. For now, the pictures fill our needs and my son seems satisfied, at this time.

Muita Obrigada
Patti Thompson